


under a paper moon

by gingerbread man (xphantomhive)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Blind!John, Claustrophobia, Douchestuck, Drabble Collection, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mute!Rose, Post-Sburb, Post-Scratch
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-23
Updated: 2015-09-29
Packaged: 2018-04-23 00:09:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,699
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4855811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xphantomhive/pseuds/gingerbread%20man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>a collection of drabbles.</p><p>[ i accept requests! ]</p><p>[ my tumblr; https://www.tumblr.com/blog/darkness-of-winter ]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. young gods

**Author's Note:**

> if you have a request;
> 
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/darkness-of-winter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were both gods, once;
> 
> and now, you barely remember him.

You don't remember.

The biggest problem is, really, you cannot remember what it is you forgot. Your therapist Rose tells you that it mustn't have been important in the first place, if you can't even find whatever it is you're searching for, but you continually tell her that she's lying because you  _know_ the thing you cannot call to mind is important. You get close, sometimes; you manufacture a picture in your mind, of a boy with messy hair and a wild smile and blue eyes, bluer than the ocean waves lapping against the shore and bluer than the sky in midday. Other times, you remember you and him were young gods, two pubescent teenage boys who had their childhood ripped brutally from them.

You tell Rose these things and all she does is hum and nod, scrawling notes on her yellow notepad in loopy writing with a violet pen. She gives you three prescriptions and you fill them all, but you have your half-blind friend walk with you to the ocean by your house and you throw them as far into the deep blue as you can manage. She pats you on the back, kisses your cheek sloppily, and teeters away on unsteady feet. You fall asleep by the ocean and wake up soaked, the sun replaced by the moon and stars. You don't go home that night, nor do you again.

You move away and change your name from Dave Strider to Dave Egbert, a generic last name you think you may have heard somewhere, once. The blonde woman behind the desk gives you a strange look when you inform her of the change, and she asks why you'd chosen such an obscure name when there are so many to pick from. You shrug but do not respond verbally. She nods once and types your name into her piece of shit computer, and then hands you a still-warm copy of your birth certificate, but now you are Dave Egbert instead of Dave Strider.

You buy a cheap apartment in the city, run-down and full of rats, but you buy a king sized bed and new sheets and some air freshener in hopes you can make the place smell less like shit and more like lilacs, or whatever the scent is. The place doesn't feel like your own and you don't think it ever will, but the first night you sleep there a memory loosens and you remember, you remember a boy with black hair and blue eyes who loved pranks and ghosts and movies and playing the piano. You wake up in the morning with dried tears on your cheeks and an aching chest, and you lie in bed the entire day and ignore all of Rose's phone calls.

You sleep for three days until you wake up on Friday and remember his name; John Egbert, that was it. He loved pranks and ghosts and movies and playing the piano and you loved him. His hair was black and when he smiled it was wide and all-teeth, but it fit him well. His eyes were blue, blue like the ocean waves lapping at the shore and the sky in midday and they were blue as blue could be.

You go back home but keep the last name Egbert,

and eventually, you get used to the hollow feeling in your chest and the ache in your lungs.


	2. what a douche

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your name is John Egbert and you fucking _hate_ Dave Strider.

“Mornin’ Egbert,” he drawls, and you _know_ he’s laying his accent on thick.

(Somehow, it’d gotten around school that you have a thing for accents; Rose is working on finding whoever spread it through school and Jade is drawing up a revenge scheme.)

You shoulder your backpack and slam your locker hastily, turn on your heel, and trudge down the hallway. “You ain’t even gonna give me the satisfaction of a simple hello? C’mon babe, I’m even layin’ my accent on nice and thick for ya’.” You crinkle your nose in disgust. Sure, you kind of find accents of any kind to be attractive - and usually, you’d be fawning over an accent such as his own - but whenever you try, you consider the source, and everything is ruined.

You stop abruptly and, unsurprisingly, he runs into your back and stumbles. “Hello, Dave,” you spit bitterly. “There, that good enough for you? Can I go to class now?”

He snorts. “Man, football players are assholes.”

You roll your eyes and shift your bookbag from one shoulder to another. “Because you’re so totally not an asshole. Right? You are literally a good samaritan, why haven’t you been awarded sainthood yet?” He looks shocked for a minute, and then he tells you that you’ve been spending too much time with Lalonde. And, yeah, you probably have. Jade and Rose are really your only close friends, though you really don’t mind Nepeta Leijon, Sollux Captor, and Kanaya Maryam (mainly because she’s dating Rose, but that’s besides the point.)

“I know, right? Really sucks bein’ such a good person but not gettin’ any awards for it,” Dave responds with just as much sarcasm as you’d used. “How’re you doin’ on this fine day? I, for one, am doin’ magnificent.”

“You can stop that,” you say. “The whole accent thing. It’s irritating.”

He leans close to you, grinning wolfishly. You take a step back. “Can’t say I know what the hell yer on about, Egbert. This is my normal voice, ‘s how I talk all the time, ain’t it?”

“ _No_ , it _isn’t_ ,” you reply irately. “You don’t talk like you just stepped out of a fucking music video for a Blake Shelton song.”

He smiles loosely, swinging an arm around your shoulders. “Yer such a prude, Egbert. When ‘m I gonna get in yer pants?”

You step out of his hold, glowering at him beneath your lashes. “ _Never_.”

He laughs cockily. (god, you hate him.) “We’ll see about that.”


	3. loss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 4\. the state of being deprived of or of being without something that one has had:  
>  _the loss of old friends._

When the game ends, you’re all at a loss.

Rose loses her voice - she emerges from the door third, right behind you and Egbert, and as soon as she’s on the other side she opens her mouth to speak and nothing comes out. You think it was because she talked so often; sent everyone walls of violet text that stretched on for miles, words sewn with elegance, strung together but never done hastily. She doesn’t cry about it, but you see tears well in her eyes and she turns away.

Jade gets claustrophobia. While it sounds mild compared to Rose’s sudden bout of muteness, it really isn’t. She can’t even be in a room with four walls - she must be outside at all times, or she’s screaming and kicking and repeating that the walls are closing in on her, they are coming closer and closer and they are going to crush her and she will die. You think it’s because she was the Witch of Space; she had free reign over space, both space with the moon and stars and planets and space, the physical property.

John loses his sight. He steps out of the doors first and you’re close behind, and before you have time to register anything he’s clinging to you, fisting your shirt in his small hands and whispering in a watery voice, “Dave, I can’t see. Dave, Dave, _Dave_ , I can’t-I _can’t_ -fucking _see_.” You think it’s because he was free; without his sight, he will always be tied down by invisible restraints. He can’t lead, anymore - he needs to be lead, now.

You lose your ability to sleep.

It sounds stupid, but - you can’t. You try and try but it never works, because you were the Knight of Time, and time doesn’t stop for anyone. You aren’t sure if your powers lingered, but sometimes, you think they may have; one minute you look at the clock and it’s twelve a.m, and then it feels like hours have passed but it hasn’t even been ten minutes.

So, yeah. You don’t sleep. Instead, you sit by John’s bedside. He sleeps soundly, but occasionally he’ll have a nightmare and you’ll watch him shoot up in a cold sweat, and he rubs his eyes with the heels of his hands and sometimes he doesn’t stop doing it, he keeps going for minutes on end, like if he rubs his eyes his lost sight will return to him.

You’re sure he doesn’t know you’re there. At his side, you mean. Sitting next to him, sword in hand, prepared to protect him from something. You aren’t in Sburb anymore, you know you aren’t, but you feel like you need to protect John because you _couldn’t_ before, and now you _can_ , and if you go to sleep or let your guard down you fear something will get him and you’ll lose him again.

And frankly, that can’t happen. It won’t happen. Not again.

You honestly believe John isn’t aware that you’re in here with him until one night, he wakes, not from a nightmare but for no reason at all, really. He goes, “Dave, I know you’re in here. You reek of cologne and apple juice. Just because I can’t see doesn’t mean I can’t smell, dipshit.”

“Rude,” you respond.

“Yeah, rude,” he fires back. “What’re you doing?”

“Protecting your stupid ass.”

John sighs softly and turns towards you. It’s creepy that his eyes land on your face, because it’s almost like he can see you, but you know he can’t. “From what? Sburb is over, Dave. We’re safe. I’m safe. We’re okay, now. You can sleep, you don’t need to protect me.”

“ _Yes_ , I _do_ ,” you spit, voice raw with emotion. “I couldn’t before. I _need_ to now. I need to keep you safe. I _can’t_ lose you again.”

“Dave, it’s okay,” he says, and then he touches your hand and damn him, he’s supposed to be blind, how does he know exactly where it is? “You won’t lose me again, I promise. I’m right here, okay? I’m right here and I’m not going anywhere. So will you stop being such a dumbshit and get into the bed with me?”

You only stare at him for a silent moment. You don’t think he knows you’re doing it, until he laughs breathily and goes, “Stop staring at me, Dave.”

You look away from him quickly, but don’t pull your hand away. He turns your hand over and traces gently over your palm with his thumb, and still, you don’t recoil. Instead, you stand and set your sword on the chair, delicately. Then you take your hand from his grip and his lips twist into a frown, but you tell him you need to do some shit before you lay down with him.

He grins, and you leave the room.

Rose and Jade are sleeping together in the room next to yours, Jade curled around Rose. Rose breathes steadily and soundlessly, and for a minute, you actually think she’s dead. But then she shifts, turns and buries her head into Jade’s chest, and you breathe a sigh of relief. Jade is breathing heavy, snoring every now and then, clutching Rose tightly, like she fears if she doesn’t hold on tight enough Rose will disappear.

You head back to John’s room and find him looking at the ceiling; but you guess he really isn’t looking at it, per se. You crawl into bed with him and he jumps back before breathing a relieved sigh, scooching close to you. The two of you are close, but not close enough -

and you know he wants to be closer.

You shake your head at John and tug him to you by his arm, letting him tuck his head under your chin and wrap his arms around your torso. He holds you like Jade held Rose, like if he doesn’t hold on tight enough you’ll leave again. And before you know it, your shirt is soaked with salty tears, sticking to your chest. “Don’t go Dave, don’t go, don’t go,” he repeats brokenly, a mantra.

You press your lips to his head and murmur, “I won’t. I’m here, I’m here now. I won’t go again.”

He cries harder but, after a few minutes, his shaking sobs die down to whimpers and hiccups, and before you know it he’s fallen asleep. “Is everything okay?” Someone whispers from next to you, and you jump so hard you fear that you’ve woken John up. The person snorts. “Oops, sorry! Didn't mean to scare you. But I hear someone crying, so I wanted to see if everything was okay over here?”

You angle your head to see the person, though you know it’s Jade. And then you look to John, and back to her, and respond, “It is now.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was just really in the mood for blind john.
> 
> also, if you left me a prompt request on tumblr, i plan to begin working on those very soon! thank you for the requests! uvu


	4. dorm showers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Anonymous said:  
> “I’m just finishing using the dorm showers when you come in with your latest partner and start having shower sex in the stall next to me and this really awkward and I’m to embarrassed to leave. Finally when you and your partner do finish and they leave I try to sneak out as fast as I can. Only you’ve come out at the same time and this is even more embarrassing cause now you know I’ve been there listening the entire time.” AU with Katnep

You hate your roommate.

According to the wall clock, it is currently twelve a.m - you should be sleeping, or at least dozing, not just finishing up in the shower. But, your roommate Vriska takes tens of thousands of years in the bathroom, putting her makeup on and whatever the fuck else it is that girls do in the bathroom, and by the time she finally comes back to the dorm it’s always late. Too late for you to be out of the room showering, at least.

You toss your towel into a nearby bin and run your fingers through your ginger hair, ducking into a stall with your clothes under your arm. It isn’t like anyone really uses this bathroom - after all, it is the one in the back of the school - but nonetheless, you really don’t want to get dressed in the open. When the door to the stall next to yours slams against the wall, you’re halfway through pulling your shirt over your head (and you end up getting tangled in it.)

What the hell? Who’s even up this late, and why are they not in their dorm? Your question is answered when there’s a breathy gasp of, “Eridan,” and oh. Oh. You know that voice. Quiet and passive but nearly a purr; Nepeta Leijon. The fuck’s she doing with the likes of Ampora?

“You can moan louder, Nep - no one even uses this piece of shit bathroom anymore.”

Uh, hello. You, Karkat Vantas, constantly use this “piece of shit bathroom.” It’s closest to your dorm, not to mention it’s actually taken care of very well and no one really uses it but you and Vriska. Even the kids  the rooms near yours use the bathrooms on the other side of the school, but you certainly aren’t going to walk that far just to shower or take a leak.

“Eridan,” Nepeta moans, louder than before. You gulp and try really hard to imagine unsexy things, but before you manage Nepeta is panting and screaming, “ _Eridan!_ ” and oh, would you look at that, they are literally shaking the stall. You want to leave, you really do, but you’re too embarrassed and if you sneak out now they’re going to know you’re here.

So you decide to just wait it out, trying to block out the breathy little Eridan’s and Nepeta’s until finally, they scream in unison, and you assume they climaxed. Only then do you unlock the stall and slip out, trying to get out of there without being noticed, but apparently they recover fast because you aren’t even to the doorway when Nepeta goes, “Karkat?”

You cough and spin on your heel, doing your damndest to hide your boner. “Uh. Yeah, that’s, uh. Me. What’s going on, Nepeta?”

Eridan steps out of the stall, still buttoning up his pants. When he sees you, he raises an eyebrow. “You pop that boner ‘cause of me or Nep here?” He asks, vaguely motioning to the blonde who slugs him in the arm.

“Uh. Well. Nepeta.”

“She’s hot, ain’t she? Scored me a good one.”

She slugs him again, and you shift awkwardly. Nepeta grins, a glint in her olive green eyes. “Hey, I think Eridan would be alright with us helping you with that. Wouldn’t you?”

Nepeta leans back and tilts her head upward, and Eridan gulps but nods.

Before you know it you’re tugged into a stall with the two of them, and, fuck-

You are fucking screwed.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [You thought wrong.](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6664921) by [Coolie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Coolie/pseuds/Coolie)




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